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Monday, April 30, 2012

Naomi Kyle Creepers of The Day


There will always be more creepers. Always. You weirdos keep this segment alive. For this I am both disgusted and thankful. Anyways. Here we go :

Yes.. I'm positive that when Naomi got dressed she thought "How can I make my tits harder to see? I know, maybe I wont wear a black bra under a white shirt! Just like any other woman!"


 Ahh. Here's a perfect example of how to compliment someone and how IGN users compliment someone. As you can see, the typical IGN user has a much better grasp on human interaction. Other than the obvious text, I did not edit this. They seriously commented at the same time. 


 Alright. And? Anything to say about em? No? Okay. Why do people do this?


Again, the IGN user displays his gentleman woman taming abilities by swooning Ms. Kyle(Mrs?) with a thoughtful compliment.


I don't even know what this says. Neither does Google.translate. Seriously. I doubt it's something not creepy though.


As always.. the best for last. A conversation between geniuses is happening here. I mean look.. lilroba1 banged Naomi! Can you believe it? Kingjustin1004 certainly can. But don't let anyone hear about it. Because if the news spreads and Naomi hears it.. She'll bang him! WOW!


Yep. I'll meet you creepy dudes back here again tomorrow. Thank you so much for leaving this weird comments. What would I do without you? U is one hot slut.

The Raid, Ip Man, and Mortal Kombat's Impressive Moves










I'm going to touch on a subject within Mortal Kombat that I don't hear about talked too much. The martial arts used within it. I never would have noticed it's extreme diversity had it not been for a movie called: The Raid..

I watched a movie from Indonesia called The Raid : Redemption 3 times this month and was incredibly impressed with not only the whole movie, but the martial arts done in it as well. If you haven't heard about The Raid, I suggest you immediately look it up, because it's the best action movie ever(I have to warn you, it's very very violent). The story follows a man named Rama(Iko Uwais) who is part of a 20 man swat team in Jakarta, Indonesia. They're sent in to raid a 30 story apartment complex full of the worst criminals in Jakarta being run by a merciless crime lord named Tama. The place has remained untouched for a reason. And the team finds out why shortly after entering the complex. They quickly realize that they're no longer there to do good, but to survive. The Raid displays some of the best shootouts and martial arts fighting ever to be put to film. I'm being completely serious. It has a gritty reality to it and everything is so expertly choreographed that you'll be sitting on the edge of your seat the entire time. I liken the adrenaline rush you get from this to that of a horror film. The characters are all just trying to survive and it is intense to watch. This movie fires on all cylinders throughout the entirety of it's 101 minute run time. There's short breaks of talking and story in between all of the fantastic fighting.. But never too much, and never too little either. The first time I saw it, I came out with my heart pounding and full of adrenaline. I had just witnessed something incredible. Each time after that was no different. Guys, believe it or not I took my girlfriend to see this. She loved it just as much as I did. This is easily my favorite movie of all time now. Everyone involved with this movie should be insanely proud of themselves; as I'm sure they undoubtedly are. On a budget of a little more than 1 million dollars, this movie puts just about every special effects heavy big-budget blockbuster action movie the american film industry has pooped out for the past few years to complete shame. Gareth Evans is the man. Definitely. I've caught word that we're planning an American remake.. I'm very skeptical of it, but I have faith that the makers of it will have respect for the original and not make it full of jump cuts and awful effects.

Here's a clip from The Raid. Be forewarned : It's not for the squeamish

I'm not joking when I say I watch this clip at least twice a day

The style of martial arts highlighted in The Raid is called Silat. Having practiced martial arts for a number of years when I was younger I had heard of silat before, but man.. That movie really makes it shine. So after I had no more money to see the movie in theaters I knew I needed more martial arts action to hold me over until the release of The Raid on Blu-ray. So I scowered net flix and came up with Ip Man and Ip Man 2(I also came up with another Gareth Evans/Iko Uwais masterpiece called Merantau. But I need to move on).

I was completely blown away again. This time by the Wing Chun style of kung fu(and the fact that it was based, however loosely,  around the true story of Yip Man). The Raid and Ip Man comprise my 2 favorite movies of all time.



 I desperately wanted to see these styles of martial arts somewhere else.. Like in a video game... I figured a good place to start would have to be my favorite fighting game of all time.. So I turned to Mortal Kombat 2011.  I have to say I am WAY more impressed by this game having familiarized myself with the actual martial arts being done in it. There's some very impressive motion capture being done here that I don't think is highlighted quite enough. For instance, there's Kung Lao. I used to hate Kung Lao. But now that I know he's a Wing Chun master I have this new found respect for him. I never used to think too much of Rain's fighting either until I played as him recently. I'm almost 100% positive that his standing animation is a silat pose! The same with his kicks. You can see the essence of Silat in it. Here's a video of Kung Lao vs. Rain. Note that Ip Man in the clip above and Kung Lao in the clip below share the same stance and some of the same strikes.



I wanna say Stryker has some silat kicks too. But obviously, I'm no martial arts master. I could be wrong about this. If you really want to get into it, compare his round house kicks and baton use to that of Iko's in the clip from The Raid I posted. Very similar if you ask me :



I could be completely wrong about all of this.. But that's not what matters.  I've come to appreciate a part of Mortal Kombat that I may not have before. I was too interested in tier lists to give a crap about what fighting style the characters were using. Now that I know I can emulate some of my favorite martial arts I have a new found love for this game. I didn't stop to realize that it was trying to put me in the middle of some of my favorite fight scenes. I was too wrapped up in trying to win everything. I used be strictly a Johnny Cage player but have since changed to Stryker, Kung Lao, and Rain (in that order). The team that worked on the mo-cap for Mk is amazing. I feel that we as gamers don't appreciate stuff like this enough. In my opinion Mortal Kombat 2011 is hands down the best fighting game ever.

PS : Go see The Raid if you can. Right now. It doesn't matter how long you have to drive. Go see it. It'll be worth it.

Review of the Every Other Week(Catch up edition!) : Brink


Ah, the long standing tradition of games not living up to the high expectations their developers set for them.. Brink is one of the biggest examples of this. And it's incredibly disappointing to say that. They created a vibrant world, nice character design, and a compelling concept. Sadly, it wasn't enough. It just didn't fit together in so many ways. I contribute it to rushing. Damn shame too.. On with the review.


Those of you unfamiliar with my system, it goes like this :
A- Atmosphere
G- Gameplay
G- Graphics
S- Sound
All are graded on a scale of 10.

A - Judging from the intro cinematic and the menus alone.. I thought I was in for a really atmospheric Orwellian style game. What I got was so much less. The intro shows a society torn apart. The society is known as 'The Ark'. A floating megastructure off the coast of San Francisco. It was meant to be a resort, but after years of natural disasters and global warming it became humanity's only haven. Compelling, no? Unfortunately it ends up being anything but. Why? Because the whole single player component is MULTIPLAYER WITH BOTS! I cannot tell you how frustrating it was to find this out. I had no idea, because I had read no reviews before buying this for 12 bucks. The least the company could have done is make decent cinematic sequences between the tedious skirmishes but nope.. Nothing of the sort. Just yelling. The characters in this game are mostly faceless and nameless. Including the character you create in the surprisingly robust character creation engine(More on that later). Such a waste. The bots are no good as well. The atmosphere may have been the only redeeming factor of this game. But they decided not to elaborate on it and instead rushed the game out the door. Which is tremendously disappointing considering how much work was obviously thrown into the art department. The environments (when not glitching out from horrible texture pop-ins the likes of which are worse than RAGE) are actually quite nice. And so is the design of the oppressive police force. It's just a shame it was wasted on a soulless skirmish game with bots. I get the impression that something really impressive could've been done here.  -3/10


All of this beautiful scenery and nothing to show for it..


G - Ahh Gameplay.. It's boring. BORING! A single player campaign mode translated to simply multi-player skirmishes with bots instead!?!?! Constantly being shouted at to attack or defend a certain point or person.. It's no fun. I don't think I really need to say much more. It just feels lazy and rushed in this fantastic world with a great story. I didn't give actual Multi-player a try, but I got fairly acquainted with it from the matches I had to do during the campaign. There are two aspects of the gameplay that one could really bring themselves to truly appreciate. One, is the robust character creation. You really get a chance to give your character your own style(it's just a shame they don't really do much in the cut-scenes). There's plenty of outfits to unlock and you start off with a decent amount of facial features, scars, and hair styles. You can also choose between different body types to give your character. Heavy body for command over heavier weapons or go lighter for a boost of speed. But obviously this has all been done before. The other aspect is the one that had me really impressed : weapon customization. That's something I've not seen before. I'm not talking about COD style put one thing on your gun and call it a day. NO! You can completely deck your weapon out to fit your needs. From suppressors, to red dot sights, to muzzle flash compensators, to under barrel launchers; this game has an impressive amount of weapon mods. It's a pain to unlock them all(you have to do annoying challenges with the ever annoying A.I. . But at least it's a slight break from the ordinary) and  it is nice to give your gun a bit of flair in this otherwise drab game. The parkour system :  SMART (Smooth Movement Across Random Terrain) that was implemented can take quite a bit of getting used to. All in all, this game feels clunky and you have to get completely used to that before you'll be any good at anything in it. And that takes quite a few deaths. It also doesn't help that your teammate A.I. can be completely oblivious to the danger around him. In the end.. This game can be bogged down with clunky controls and the occasional choppy frame rate. I really want to know what went wrong here. Like I've been saying.. This could've really been something. unique -2/10


Bot1(right): Think we should help out down there? Bot2: Nah. Let's just stand out here in the open.


G - Brink runs on a highly modified version of IdTech 4. IdTech 4 was used to create Doom 3 which, in my opinion, still looks good to this day when set on 'ultra high'. However.. Either the ps3 copy sucks majorly.. Or Splash Damage sucks majorly at modding engines. At times, this game can look moderatly good, but most of the time it's a texture pop-in mess. Especially when you're just starting a match. Which is normal, I understand that. But in most games this problem is gone after a second or two; in Brink it lingers for a good 6 to 10 seconds. And it looks awful when it does it. Again, this is a huge disappointment considering all the work that clearly went in to designing the environments. If they ever make a Brink 2 hopefully they use IdTech 5. Still, I have to say, the amount of stuff they did on an almost 7-8 year old game engine is completely impressive. And that's where these 3 points come from :  -3/10


Alright, so the ps3 version isn't entirely inferior I guess. 


S - Typical shooter affair. Automatic weapon fire, pistol shots, some shotguns and explosions. Some recycled sounds. But what game isn't guilty of that? That's the least of Brink's problems. The voice acting is actually pretty cool. There's a pretty decent variation in character voices and phrases. Which makes this game at least a little less tiring on the ears than the eyes.  -7/10


The Verdict - 4/10


Brink was a disappointment to me. I expected a lot from it's previews and was let down hard. The graphics ended up being garbage, slapping the artists in the face. The single player was pretty much non-existent. And the story really didn't end up impressing me despite how well set up it was. The art direction and story concept remain impressive. If Splash Damage gets another chance to make a Brink game I hope they learn from their mistakes and not only create a viable single player campaign, but a functioning graphics engine. Brink had a good formula, it was just very poorly executed.












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